Have you ever had that one “friend” who only calls when they need to borrow a truck or move a couch? You know the type. They don’t ask how your kids are. They don’t care about that promotion you just got. They just launch straight into the “ask.”
Most of us find that behavior exhausting in our personal lives. We distance ourselves from it.
And yet, when it comes to small business marketing, many of us have been conditioned to act exactly like that “truck-borrowing friend” every single day.
I was thinking about this recently while looking at the sheer volume of automation in our world. We have tools that can schedule a thousand posts, AI that can write “human-like” copy, and algorithms that tell us exactly when to pounce on a potential “lead” (aka, actual person). But in the middle of all that efficiency, we’ve lost something vital: the human on the other end of the screen.
The truth is, we don’t communicate with each other in the relationships we appreciate the way that we advertise at each other.
The “Ad-At-Us” Syndrome: A List of Marketing Sins
For years, I’ve shared a core framework for why so many marketing messages feel like a cheese grater to the soul. If you look closely at the “best practices” often preached in the digital marketing world, they usually boil down to a very specific (and very annoying) list of behaviors.
Think about your last few social media posts or email blasts. Did they do any of the following?
- Boast & Brag: “We’re the #1 provider of [Insert Service] in the tri-city area!” (Translation: I am very important. Please clap.)
- Shame & Nag: “Why haven’t you signed up yet? Don’t you care about your future?” (Translation: You’re failing, and it’s my job to remind you until you pay me.)
- Blame & Scare: “Your business is dying and you don’t even know it! Watch this before it’s too late!” (Translation: I’m going to poke your anxieties until you click out of panic.)
- Compete & Compare: “Our competitors are slow and expensive. We’re better.” (Translation: I’m insecure, so I’m going to put others down to look tall.)
If you talked to your spouse, your best friend, or your neighbor like that, you’d be eating dinner alone for the rest of your life.
We don’t appreciate people who boast, brag, shame, nag, or scare us in real life. So what makes us think that people will be attracted to that same behavior when it’s wrapped in a Facebook ad?
Communication Over Advertising
One of the core pillars of my Social Media Marketing REAL Success System is a simple but radical shift: treating social media as a communication tool rather than a lottery ticket or a slot machine.
Advertising is often a one-way street. It’s a broadcast. It’s “push.”
Communication, however, is a two-way street. It’s “pull.” It requires listening, empathy, and, heaven forbid, a bit of silence.
When we approach small business marketing through the lens of communication, the goal changes. You’re no longer trying to “capture” a lead like they’re some sort of wild animal. You’re trying to build a bridge.
Truth Over Trends: The Compass vs. The Map
The marketing world loves a good trend. One week it’s “dances on TikTok,” the next it’s “Threads,” and the week after that it’s “AI-generated video avatars.”
At REAL Success Navigator, we talk a lot about the difference between a map and a compass. A map shows you a specific path that someone else already walked. If the landscape changes (hello, algorithm updates!), the map becomes useless.
A compass, however, points to North regardless of where you are. In marketing, your “North” is the Truth.
“Truth over Trends” means prioritizing the timeless principles of human connection over the temporary hacks of the digital age.
- The Trend: Using “Clickbait” titles to trick people into opening an email.
- The Truth: Writing a subject line that is honest and helpful builds long-term trust.
- The Trend: Posting 5 times a day because the algorithm demands “intensity.”
- The Truth: Posting once a day (or once a week) with something deeply valuable builds “consistency.” (Remember: the Turtle beats the Phoenix every time).
As I often share in my keynotes, sustainable momentum doesn’t come from forcing outcomes or chasing the “shiny new thing.” It comes from alignment and consistency. It comes from having the courage to show up as yourself, over and over and over again, even when the rest of the world is busy performing.
Creating With Courage
It takes zero courage to follow a trend. It’s safe. If it fails, you can just say, “Well, everyone else was doing it.”
It takes a massive amount of courage to be REAL: Resourceful, Effective, Authentic Leaders.
“Creating with Courage” means looking at the people you feel closest to: the relationships you actually appreciate: and asking: How do I talk to them?
You probably use plain language. You probably share stories of your failures as well as your wins. You probably listen more than you speak. You probably care more about the person than the transaction.
When you integrate that level of authenticity into your business messaging, something magical happens. You stop being a “vendor” and you start being a Navigator. You become someone people trust to help them chart their own course.
How to Real-ign Your Marketing Today
If you’re feeling the “drift”: that sense that your marketing is loud but not actually connecting: here are three simple ways to REAL-ign:
- The “Friend Test”: Before you hit ‘publish’ on your next post or email, read it out loud. Imagine you are saying those exact words to a friend over coffee. If it feels awkward, arrogant, or pushy, rewrite it.
- Focus on Reciprocity: Marketing isn’t just about what you say; it’s about how you respond. Spend more time engaging with the people who follow you than you do trying to find new ones. Connection is a currency.
- Ditch the Jargon: Small business owners often hide behind “professional” sounding words because they’re afraid of looking small. Don’t. Clarity beats cleverness every single time. Use the words your customers use.
Lead With Dignity
Success that is borrowed from someone else’s map isn’t really success: it’s just a performance. And keeping up performances is exhausting.
Whether you are looking to navigate change in your organization or simply want to stop feeling like a slave to the “Post” button, the answer is the same: reconnect with the human element.
Stop advertising at people. Stop the boast, the brag, and the scare tactics.
Start communicating. Start connecting. Start leading with dignity.
Because at the end of the day, we aren’t selling to “users” or “traffic.” We are connecting with actual human beings. And humans, thank goodness, still value the truth.
Ready to stop the shouting and start connecting?
If you’re done with noisy marketing that feels forced, check out my online course, The Social Media Marketing REAL Success System. It’s built to help you communicate more clearly, connect more honestly, and create with courage instead of chasing attention. If that sounds like the kind of marketing you actually want to do, it’s a great place to start.
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